While scrolling through my social media I came across a quote –
“No amount of external validation, can make up for a lack of self-love.”– Anonymous
and to be honest, it resonated with everything I wanted to hear at that moment. This quote has stayed with me ever since and acts as a subtle reminder at times where I get off the tracks I have set for myself.
To begin with, we should be solely grateful that people are realizing the significance, coming forward with their stories, and are being so vocal about issues like mental health and body positivity; which were earlier just excluded from being a part of mainstream conversations.
The main idea I’d like to focus on and which I consider crucial as well as benefiting for almost every other aspect for your regular life: SELF ACCEPTANCE. The road to self-love is a long one and often we come across paths which might seem a little too difficult to get through but with the key of self- acceptance, I can promise one worthwhile and fruitful journey.
If I ever ask a person to enlist like 5 negative things and 5 positive things about themselves, they are very quick in answering the former question but on the other hand, it requires a lot of thought and effort into coming up with an answer for the latter.
Even without second thoughts or thinking, people just start blabbering about things they dislike about themselves, things they would like to change, things which they want to get rid of, things which they consider as hindrances, and mostly all sort of negativity one could imagine.
Also, I’d quickly like to state that here I am not subjectively talking about any person in particular but broadly classifying them according to my personal observation. And when the time comes to answer the things which they like and are grateful for, there is always a puzzled look, constant pressure to come up with something, relentless thinking and then the final bland answer which is not even able to mention just a few things amongst innumerable ones which we should be thankful for.
If you are also one of those people, it is absolutely fine and there is no need to worry about it since self-acceptance is a thing which comes naturally for some, and while for others it is mostly a distant dream. It is important to remember that self-acceptance and self-love are not there by default but if we manage to embrace ourselves as we are, there is nothing that can hold us back.
Self-Acceptance and Its Link With Negativity
“Love yourself, embrace your flaws and never let the opinions of others affect your self-confidence. You are enough.”– Bethany Mota
Self-acceptance is the first step towards healing and greater awareness of your conscience. Only when we accept ourselves with all our qualities, personality traits, and attributes is when we take a step towards being a better person.
We surely are able to accept the good parts of our lives, but what about the failures, rejection, and insecurities? So often, people are so harsh on themselves beat themselves up and constantly put down themselves even for the tiniest of things which goes around our head.
We act as our biggest critics to the point that it becomes an unhealthy practice and act as an obstacle towards our state of well-being and happiness and it becomes our reality sooner than we think.
It becomes a habit to talk negatively about yourself and the things going around you and it is just like a self-inflicted punishment which we are giving to ourselves without being aware of its repercussions for our mental health and lives to a larger extent.
Whenever something goes wrong instead of seeing it as a lesson or even a mishap, the cycle of negative self-talk begins, and more often than not, it makes a person miserable and pushes them into an endless loop of never-ending stress and anxiety about the smallest things.
It is always not entirely our fault. A person is born and brought up in a family that plays a very huge part in shaping their social and personal behaviors. The kind of person you are, your values, your perspective towards life, etc. are all shaped by your family.
When a child is born, he is made to see the world through the eyes of their parents with all its prejudices, biases, stereotypes, and preconceived notions. As a child grows up, he inculcates all the things which were taught to him as a child, and sooner or later, it becomes like baggage to him. For instance, in an Indian society that is full of racial, cultural, political, and social biases, it becomes difficult for a child to come in terms with reality.
If a child is brought in a household where there is always an air of mockery or a demeaning view towards things like religion, skin color, people of different sexual orientations, economic backgrounds, etc., he will grow up to be intolerant towards all these. But that doesn’t mean a person cannot change and in no way, I am justifying this toxicity.
I want to just put it out clearly, that negative emotions of grief, envy, despair, frustration, guilt, etc., are just a normal part of our lives and the harsh reality is that they will always be there. What one can do is change their perspectives from what they lack or despise what they already have. Self- acceptance is all about gratitude and self-compassion towards oneself.
Everyone has their own problems at some point or another, it is just your perspective that matters. A shift in paradigm is all you need.
Ways To Incorporate Self-Acceptance In Your Daily Lives
Coming In Terms With Yourself
Firstly, it is time to stop judging yourself because it is time to accept the fact that no one judges you as much as you judge yourself. It’s high time to accept that you are also one human being who is prone to making mistakes and going through tough phases in life but that should not deteriorate the way you treat yourself.
If you can give yourself so much criticism for making a petty or a minor mistake, I think it would be totally fine and not too hard to give yourself some kind of treat, appreciation, or praise for your successes and achievements too. Instead of always whining and venting about your failures and shortcomings, learn to celebrate your victories.
Coming to terms with your strength and weaknesses, your capabilities and worth will be one of the best decisions you will ever make for yourself.
Being Self Aware And Mindful
Self awareness is something that can be achieved only through consistent thoughts and processes but once you find it, it can be one of the best things amongst your possessions. It is a habit of knowing how and what exactly you think, feel, and behave.
It is all about recognizing the patterns, paying attention to the situations, and our reaction towards it. Similarly, mindfulness is a state of being aware of your thoughts, surroundings, and feelings.
One proven way of achieving this state of bliss can be attained through journaling which has helped a lot of people in raising their emotional vibrations and getting familiarity with themselves. Writing down about yourselves and what makes you an individual is not only therapeutic but also one step closer to self-acceptance.
Confronting Your Fears And Insecurities
According to me, this is the most important and ultimate step towards a happier life. It is essential to know that no one in the world is well equipped with everything they need. Even the most successful people you see and idolize on social media has some sorts of troubles and insecurities which they don’t talk out loud.
To overcome a lack of something, we should first recognize it then accept it and after that layout a plan to work towards it. Whatever you do, just ensure that it is making you a better version of yourself.
Do not even attempt to do anything with a half heart or just because the society asks you too. You’re a strong, capable, and divine-human who is much more than a few socially constructed concepts. People are not born insecure, they are made insecure. To overcome your fears and insecurities, recognize where they come from, and then begin the process to overcome it.
I would like to conclude the article with yet another saying by Carl Jung
“We cannot change anything unless we accept it.”– Carl Jung
Embrace yourself the way you are, establish your identity, assert your position, shift your self-talk and you will surely see a positive result in your approach towards yourself and your life.
Today, when people do not have a few minutes to spare for themselves, it contradictorily becomes more and more essential to take out at least five minutes of your life and give it to yourself. Change is inevitable but personal growth will always be a choice and you have the power to do wonders but it will take a lot of consistent efforts and some self-care practices and within no time, you will come out as a stronger and better version of yourself.
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